Confused.

You've gotta fast car & I've got a ticket to anywhere. Maybe we can make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere. Any place is better, starting from zero got nothing to lose. Maybe we'll make something, me, myself I got nothing to lose..... Tracy Chapman

Awkward silence. Pause. Another pause. The kind of silence that only happens when you sit in a room with someone you know so well, but you are trying to pretend that person means nothing. You and him or her just want to be somewhere, anywhere else. Instead you are sitting face to face having a bull conversation that you are counting down the minutes until you can leave. Staring into the eyes of this person, you can't decide quite where you stand. Do you feel like crying? Are you mad? Are you just sick of the situation so much that you want to scream? What do you do?

You are craving, needing, wanting any break in the silence.... a phone call? Nah, a knock at the door? Nope. At this point you hope that some part of the building starts on fire and the sprinklers come on just so you have an excuse to walk out. Damn. That didn't happen either. Instead you put a smile on that pretty little face of yours, agree to the terms of day and move along.

Trust is given out far too easily in my world. Dad's reasoning... "Lesson learned, right?" Yes dad, I learned and I won't be making that mistake again.

I am tired.

James